I am Cursed! Cursed, I say!

Hello gentle readers.

Today was a day of nightmare mani/pedi crackle attempts. Epic fail. Times two. *sigh* I must be cursed. Or I did something very, very wrong. Probably the latter. Let me 'splain.

I started off with a pedicure. Started applying my Orly Ridge Filling Base Coat to my toenails. I wanted a couple of coats, since many of my toenails are quite ridged. As I painted on more and more I got to liking the soft, off white tone on my toesies and decided to just apply to opaque and smooth. Okay. Got that done, it was drying (sorta... with that many coats, I don't know how much it was drying) and I got the bright idea to top it with China Glaze Crackle Glaze in Crushed Candy. I applied it and it started cracking. Sorta.

Got to my big toe nails and it cracked some and pulled bck from the cuticle so far I thought I had done a Ruffian. I waited a while and kind of pulled it back down with my finger. Tore it. Thought about cleaning it off and starting over then decided it looked fine, since I rarely show my toes in public, anyway. Topped it with Seche Vite and carried on with my manicure.

Don't worry. No toe pictures.

I do kinda wonder if my pedi is dried and cured, yet. I am going to be lacing my feet into my walking shoes in a little while and heading out to the lake for a nice, long hike. Should be interesting to see what condition my pedi is in when I get home. :P

So, it was mani time. (Anyone go in their heads to Hammer Time? No? Just me? Thought so.)  I decided to apply Maybelline Wet Shine nail enamel in Banana Puddin'. Just out of curiosity, why the hell can't people put the g on the end of "ing" words? Am I the only one who is bugged by this? Anywhoozle, I applied three coats of Banana Puddin' too get it smooth and somewhat opaque. Took a few pictures and grabbed my China Glaze Crackle Glaze. Applied it and waited for the magic to happen. I was expecting the magic. I figured that the toes were an anomaly, since I applied over thick basecoat.

Ha! The crackle polish goddesses laughed. Really. They did. I could hear them!

 Okay, first I am going to show you pictures of the Maybelline Banana Puddin'. (Geeze! I just want to shudder every time I type that!) All photographs were taken in afternoon sun and are clickable to make big. (But I don't advise it.)

 Maybelline Wet Shine in Banana Puddin'. Three coats.

 Pretty soft, light yellow crelly. A little sheer. A little streaky but levels out nicely after three coats. Still had a little VNL. A fourth coat would have taken care of that.

 I should have just slapped on a coat of Seche Vite and called it good. My nails looked nice. 

But noooo...

I couldn't be happy with sunny, happy yellow nails. 

I had to try the crackle, again.

On it went. And I got this. Gaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Crackle fail Ruffian. It pulled up away from my cuticles. Didn't crack worth a good damn. I tried to pull it gently back down and tore it near my cuticle on my ring finger nail. *sigh*

 Left thumb nail. Just one big old crack. Ruffian style.

Right hand. Yeah... I am convinced that I suck and crackles hate me. lol

I am not ready to give up on this stuff, yet. Maybe it doesn't like to be applied over thick, still pretty wet polish. Maybe it needs a thinner base, one that is more dry. I shall try again! I shall persevere. I shall make this work. 

Or, I will lob the fucking bottle out into the sweet by and by. 

I prefer to make it work. The thought of tossing a bottle of polish into oblivion makes me feel a little queasy. 

Or is that the grated, out of a plastic tube Parmesan cheese I sprinkled on my lunch salad? 
Okay. So. I think I have whined, enough. Oh! And I am no longer wearing that freak show, just in case you are wondering. I was actually going to put on Seche Vite and make myself wear it until tomorrow but kind fate intervened. As I was coming back in from taking photographs, I caught my pinkie nail on the cord for the blind on my front door and it tore the polish right off that nail. Saved by the freak accident. lol

I am now wearing Nubar Reclaim. And I will be showing this mani, later. It's heavenly. Just saying. :D

Thank you for popping in. Have a great rest of your holiday and may your crackle never fail.